Have you ever heard other business owners say they never get referrals? What they are usually referring to is an association event they have attended, a group they belong to, a person they met, etc.
I met just such a person recently at a party. He told me that he couldn’t seem to get anyone to refer him although his credentials were impeccable. I mentioned a couple of organizations that might be helpful to him and that I had worked with a few clients that had experienced success by attending.
The next thing I knew, I got an email from him asking me if I could introduce him to all the people I know in that space. Excuse me?
What’s wrong with this picture? Hint: the answer could shed some light on your own referral ability.
1. When I met him, he only talked about himself and the woefully hard time he had despite his expertise. Comment: If you have a one-sided conversation about only your needs, expect that hardly anyone will bother to take the time to help you. The bad news is – it’s not about you.
2. When he emailed me, his request was unreasonable considering that I had only had a 10 minute conversation with him. Comment: This is a process and it’s about building a relationship of trust, camaraderie, mutual benefit and mutual respect. If any of those pieces are missing, it has little chance to evolve.
3. Just having a short conversation doesn’t form much of a connection. Comment: What if you started a conversation by asking them some more surprising questions? This gets them to respond more authentically and thereby forms a deeper connection. Isn’t that what this is about?
Finally, the big key is following up. Do you take all the steps necessary to form a deeper connection?
* Write a note of appreciation
* Post a comment on their blog
* Tweet about them to others
* Introduce them to someone on email
* Invite them to lunch with others who have the same target client but are not competitive with them
These things seem obvious, but in 12 years on my own, I see very few people execute the referral process well. What would improve yours?
Hi Dale,
Good stuff!
Tony
Hi Dale,
Good stuff!
Dale,
Thanks for shedding light on this important topic. In the my experience a deep human need is to feel appreciated and valued. Making a referral is a double win. Both sides of the referral process get to enjoy feeling valued. If making a referral seems too hard, I suggest practicing building your referral muscles by starting with making introductions. They are usually lower pressure. “I want to introduce you two because I think you may have some business interests in common.” What would happen if we made it a goal to make an introduction for every new person we meet?
Hey Dale,
Great ideas as always from you!
I would love to hear you address the following dilemma in a future post.
What do you do when you meet a great business prospect, and ask them to coffee/lunch to deepen the relationship and they don’t even reply? Just walk away?? On to the next possibility?
Thanks!
Always good to be reminded of the simple stuff but so hard to keep it top of mind. Thanks for doing that!!!