I did an interesting experiment last summer. I had started a small study group made up of all kinds of people in the marketing field. There were around twelve of us. We had met roughly four times. At the beginning of each meeting we went around the room and introduced ourselves.
At the fourth meeting I asked everyone to introduce the person next to them. These people knew each other. They had met for one on one meetings. And….they had a really tough time saying what someone else in the group did.

Can we extrapolate a lesson from that? Mais oui.
Just because you think you are being clear, your words may not register as meaning for the person to whom you are speaking.
What to do? Here are a couple ideas:
1. Use analogies starting with: have you ever known anyone who (name a need) that your perfect client might have.
2. Cause curiosity by saying less instead of more. Make them work by asking you questions.
3. Spend some time researching three competitors. Now, make a list of what they offer. Next to that column make a note of how you do that differently or better. Next, make a list of the three most important needs that your client probably has.
Next, craft an introduction weaving those points together.
Try to make it surprising or at least interesting. Then you put in memory hooks too.

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I’m going to do some writing about the subject of connection since it seems a bit ignored in the world discussions around marketing as it applies to business owners and entrepreneurs.
Last Monday I facilitated a session of the Mid-Atlantic Consultants Network. I analyzed all of the different parts of making a deeper connection and then set the group to work on discussing five items each.
It’s a high level group of people who have deep industry experience as well as a real desire to add to their own skills. They came through with great insights.

When a business group was asked the question: “Are you here to sell?” Everyone raised their hands.
When she asked “Who is here to buy?” No one raised their hands.
The lesson is: You hare here neither to buy nor to sell. You are here to create relationships.
Takes the pressure off, doesn’t it?

A couple of other insights:
Be open. Sounds easy. But, think back to a time when you met someone. When you asked them what their profession was they answered: “I’m a CPA.”
How fast did you experience a glaze starting to cover your eyes and your head looking around for someone else with whom to chat?

We tend to sort by putting people in boxes. And, we lose the opportunity to find out anything more because we shut it.

Another aspect that needs attention is the realm of assumptions. Here’s a little quiz: Write down all the assumptions that arise in your mind after each one.
1. I teach at Wharton and have a consulting business.
2. I sell commercial insurance.
3. I consult with large Pharma.

I’d be interested in what assumptions arose for you. Here were mine:
1. Ohmygosh, he’s smarter than I am.
2. Holy cow, what can I say next – that’s polite?
3. Whoa. She’s playing in the big spaces, probably nothing to say here.

See what those assumptions shut down? For sure, a deeper connection. I’m making all kinds of assumptions that I have not tested. Instead, maybe I just need some good questions….which I will discuss on the next post.

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