I’m going to do some writing about the subject of connection since it seems a bit ignored in the world discussions around marketing as it applies to business owners and entrepreneurs.
Last Monday I facilitated a session of the Mid-Atlantic Consultants Network. I analyzed all of the different parts of making a deeper connection and then set the group to work on discussing five items each.
It’s a high level group of people who have deep industry experience as well as a real desire to add to their own skills. They came through with great insights.

When a business group was asked the question: “Are you here to sell?” Everyone raised their hands.
When she asked “Who is here to buy?” No one raised their hands.
The lesson is: You hare here neither to buy nor to sell. You are here to create relationships.
Takes the pressure off, doesn’t it?

A couple of other insights:
Be open. Sounds easy. But, think back to a time when you met someone. When you asked them what their profession was they answered: “I’m a CPA.”
How fast did you experience a glaze starting to cover your eyes and your head looking around for someone else with whom to chat?

We tend to sort by putting people in boxes. And, we lose the opportunity to find out anything more because we shut it.

Another aspect that needs attention is the realm of assumptions. Here’s a little quiz: Write down all the assumptions that arise in your mind after each one.
1. I teach at Wharton and have a consulting business.
2. I sell commercial insurance.
3. I consult with large Pharma.

I’d be interested in what assumptions arose for you. Here were mine:
1. Ohmygosh, he’s smarter than I am.
2. Holy cow, what can I say next – that’s polite?
3. Whoa. She’s playing in the big spaces, probably nothing to say here.

See what those assumptions shut down? For sure, a deeper connection. I’m making all kinds of assumptions that I have not tested. Instead, maybe I just need some good questions….which I will discuss on the next post.

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The Deeper Level of Connection – Part 2

I have adopted generosity as a tool. I find it most useful – not only for my clients, friends, prospects and others, but for myself; as a tool for growth.

Generosity starts with a conscious acceptance of an attitude. It acknowledges the fact that everyone has worth and something unique to offer. Maybe it comes naturally to some, but I find myself weaving in and out of it. I have to remember every day that this is how I want to live and be. I forget way too easily.

Case in point – Last week I went to an all-day workshop. I was excited to attend knowing that I could make new connections and open myself up to good learning. There were only several people in the room when I arrived. Not one of them said hello, including a fellow I have known as an acquaintance and a competitor for about twelve years. My generosity generator shut down faster than a lawn mower out of gas and I started to feel invisible. As the day progressed, other attendees were friendly, but the fellow I knew had determined that he was NOT going to speak to me. Pretty silly, huh?

During the boring parts of the workshop I had a little chat with myself. The end result was that I talked myself into a much more positive state. I also decided to be open and welcoming to as many people as I could. I changed my spirit into one of openness and giving so that my energy would give off a positive, fun and friendly attitude. By doing this, I made some good contacts that day.

What about the unfriendly competitor? He and his organization were the losers in my mind. (I’m still working on this part. Generosity isn’t connected with judgment – which I’m way too guilty of!) They were all incredibly impressed with themselves. They talked about all the great work that they were doing, the great people they knew, how famous they were . . . the list goes on. At that point, they lost me as someone that would even want to talk to them. When it is all about you, people get bored fast. The imprint you leave probably isn’t one you would choose.

Generosity starts with making up your mind that you are going to share with abundance. It opens up possibilities for things unseen. When you are generous, you are curious. It has a completely different energy to it than business as usual. It lets go of the idea that if I give you something, you owe me; if I have more experience than you, I’m more important; if I make more money than you, it makes me more significant, etc.

It’s a value and a decision. Once made, you start each day from a place of love. It has energy to it. No room for negativity. People are attracted to it like a super magnet. And at the end of the day, it is all about love, generosity, kindness and a positive attitude.

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The Power of Connection – A Series

Have you ever heard other business owners say they never get referrals? What they are usually referring to is an association event they have attended, a group they belong to, a person they met, etc. I met just such a person recently at a party. He told me that he couldn’t seem to get anyone [...]

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Do Your Prospective Clients Know You?

Are you always: First called    ●    First  Hired    ●    First Referred ? Do you know how to: Make clear distinctions between your company and your most ambitious competitors? Create market awareness with memorable messages? Define and articulate your value in the marketplace to launch immediate action? Are you ready to stop being the “best kept [...]

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Exploding a Brand

3 Easy Ways to Break Your Brand

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